Wales wedding-excitement overwhelms me!

A week to go before Mr and Mrs Wales big lad Bill gets hitched.I'm so excited about knowing what the lovely Kate (call me Catherine from now on peasant!) will be wearing!

Gosh will it be white? Or puce ? Or a little gold lame number?

Perhaps it will be a modified polo shirt with wee horses and polo mints embroidered on in cute sequin patterns?

What of his military uniforms will the Wales boy be wearing, and what medals?

And then his father, with his vast array of service uniforms.Will he be pondering now ? Will I be a Field Marshal on Friday? Or a Lord High Admiral ? Or maybe it's time I gave the Marshal of the Royal Air Force kit a bit of an airing!

Then the Lord High Everything will have to choose his medals and sashes and stars so that they will all be colour coordinated.

I expect he will discuss with his siblings what medals and stuff they are bedecking themselves with,so that they don't all turn up with the same honours on show.

It must take hours for the Windsor's to get their christmas tree finery sorted out.

No such problem for their Mum however, as Liz of Guelph gave them all their baubles anyway.

She'll just wear the odd clutch of diamonds,the odd row or ten of pearls and probably enough gold to pay off the national debt!

Every newspaper this Sunday carried page after page of detail about the wedding.Diagrams of whose sitting where in the Abbey and what second each of them will appear.

What I find particularly nauseating is the collection of 'other royals' who are turning up to rattle their jewellery,from a bunch of nasty Arab potentates who will then hurry home to murder some more of their people to a selection box of assorted former European monarchs who languish in splendid villas in Monaco living on stolen loot.

What also causes some anguish is that this bunch of deadbeats should engender such interest and respect from citizens worldwide.

I simply do not buy into the notion that the unelected sons and daughters of old German nobility should have any place in modern society.

The Germans themselves have got rid of the numpties,so why are we still supporting them?

Oh I forgot, they are symbols of our history and are above the cut and thrust of political life.They are pure and untainted and beloved and excuse me while I gag!

Andrew York ? His ex-wife?His dopey young brother? His haughty sister/ and then there is Charles...

I almost feel sorry for young Wales, it must be hard to be the son of a beautiful but empty headed breeding machine and an ugly,empty headed self important ignoramus.

But then we know who is paternal grandfather is......enough said!

The Royals own far too much of our country,they are after all the richest landowners in the country.

They offer nothing but arrogance and vacuity-it's time they were pensioned off like their European cousins, and invited to live using their own skills and abilities.

it would be inrteresting to seehow the Guelph family got on !